On 2011/10/29, in 生活, 网络, by Blxc







I was deep in thought preparing a lecture to be given that evening at a college dross town , when the photo rans , A woman I had never met introduced

herself and said that she was the mother of a seven-year-old boy and that she was dying . she said that her doctorhad advised her that discussing her

coming death with her little boy would be too cruel for him , but somehow that didn’t feel right to her .

      Knowing that I worked with grieving children , she asked for my advice . I told her thatour heart was often smarter than our brain and that I thought

she knew what would be best for her son . Ialso invited her to attend the lecture that night since Iwas speaking about how children deal with death . She

said she would be there .

      I wouldered later if Iwould recoginize her at the lecture , but my question was answered when I saw a weak woman being half-carried into the room by

two adults , I talked about the fact that children usually sense the truth long before they are told and that they often wait until they feel adults are ready to

talk about it before sharing thrie concerns and questions . Isaid that children usuallycan deal with truth better than denial , even though the denial is

intended to protect them from pain . I said that respecting . children meant incluing them in the family sadness , not shutting them out .

      At the break , she hobbled to me and through her tears she said , “I knew it in my heart , I just I should tell him .” She said that she would that night .

      The next morning I received photo call from her , Imanaged to hear the story though ger choked voice . She awakened him when they got home the

night before and quietly said , “Derek ,I have somthing to tell you .”

      He quickiy interrupted her saying , “Oh , Mommy , is it now that you are going to tell me that your are dying ?”

      She held him close and they both sobbed while she said ,”Yes.”

       After a few minutes the little boy wanted down . He said that he had somthing for her . In the back of one of his drawers was a dirty pencil box . Inside

the box was a letter . It said , “Goo-bye , Mom , I shall always love you .”    



On 2011/10/29, in 生活, by Blxc





After my mother passed away,my dad tried even harder to stay healthy and active.Each morning he swam in the pool,and no matter how he felt,he would __always__swim one more lap (圈) than the previous day,just to prove there was always room for __improvement__.
By his late 70s,in spite of his swimming,his strength and energy had noticeably __decreased__.By age 81,he was in poor health because of heart problems and arthritis (关节炎).He pretended he didn’t __need__to lean heavily on me for support as we walked slowly,I pretended not to __notice__,and naturally held him.One day he said,“In case of an emergency,I do not __want__to be kept alive by any medical means.I’ve made an official will for that __situation__.”
A month later he had a heart attack.In the emergency room,__again__,he told me his wish.He was __uncomfortable__with intensive care(重症护理),but he still had his sense of __humor__,asking me,“Does this mean we can’t keep our lunch date tomorrow?”Then he turned toward the wall next to his bed,and __refused__to look at me.There was a miserable silence between us.Then he said,“I don’t want you to __remember__me as a helpless old man.__Promise__you won’t,darling!And please go now.”
Those were my father’s last __words__.I had regretted not holding his hand and telling him of my love as he had passed on,__until__a dream set me free.My father came to visit me in the dream and told me his __side__of the story:
I’m telling you the truth,my darling daughter.I __know__you love me as I love you.And I did not want you there __at__my death.That was what you wanted,not what I wanted.My death was __perfect__,just the way it was.There are two sides to everything-__even__death